Open letter to all who know me
The time has come to tell you all – and as far as I can, I’ve told you all at the same time – of something very special in my life. Throughout life, you pick up experience, sights and scenes, and from time to time, you can look back at it all just to see some things shining through more than anything else. When you take these times to look back, you can see what you’ve done before, and how you’d like to do it differently. Sometimes change is not needed. Quite often it can be. Sometimes, the way things were “meant” to be on the outside, is not how things are on the inside. So what I am about to say is no snap decision, or indeed a quick fix. It’s how I’ve felt things should be. What I say will sound like a huge step. It might sound totally bizarre, and there is a good chance no one has ever said it in your presence before. However, everyone has a right to know – I’m an open kind of person – and once everyone knows, I can continue.
From Friday 9 April 2004, I will be known as Suzy – or Susanna Rebecca Scott to give me my “new” full name. From the same date I will be visible to the outside world as a female persona. The reason for the change is to revert into the person I’ve believed I always should have been – and naturally, from the same time, you will notice me looking a bit different to how you’ve seen me before. “Gender Dysphoria” is the medical term for those who feel that they should be in the body of the opposite sex. If you want to label me, you could say I am a transsexual. There is no denying the feelings that I have are sincere, and I’ve felt this way for a very long time. There are many different similar terms that reflect different things – but this is the term, or label, that fits me best - or “transgender” if you prefer the Americanism.
There are some things that will not change. All the good – and bad – times we’ve had in the past, do not change. Internally I am still the same – my knowledge (or lack of), sense of humour (or lack of), resources (or lack of), ideas (or lack of), willingness to help (or lack of), you get the idea… (The name components are all names of people from my past – but not connected to anyone currently known).
How does this affect you? I would appreciate your support in changing my name in your records as soon as is practical. My email addresses, street address, phone numbers etc. have not changed, but email is likely to in the future – partly to beat spam (I’ve had the same email address for how long?), but also to reflect transfer to a new provider on broadband, but you will be advised in due course. (This change is not connected to the major changes).
If you are not sure, think about it from my point of view – I might have been “acceptable” or “normal” to your eyes – but I was anything but in my own. I feel as if I should have been born in a body other than my own, and it’s now time to start saying it. This will be for the rest of my life – while we cannot go backwards and reverse time, I am looking forward to the future. Over the last few years, lots has happened to me, and I made a decision a few years back - to go out each day, have a good time, enjoy myself and what I do, and try to get on with everyone as best I can. I understand this is likely to be a surprise. Having said that, I’d appreciate your support now, and in the long run. Despite some experience, you will obviously appreciate I do not know it all about the events that will be coming to me – or everything I will experience. As nothing has changed (in this respect), please still feel you can come up to me and say if you see me doing something wrong, or not quite right, or you think there is something I could do better. Your assistance will continue to be appreciated. You need not feel threatened, pressured or unsafe around me.
If you want to talk to me about this, then feel free. I will soon be putting a few bits & pieces together online at http://www.scotbus.com/aboutme and appropriate updates will be posted there. I’m about to have a few days in town before heading to Coventry to see a friend for a week, then a few days in London. For those at work, I am due back at work on Monday 26 April. Whenever and wherever we meet, I look forward to seeing you, and for you to see the new me. Now you know me almost as well as I know myself. I hope so.
Yours most sincerely
Andrew Gronneberg (16 January 1979 – 8 April 2004)
Susanna Scott (9 April 2004 and beyond)